Speak English Fearlessly By Being Yourself!

Well, hello there and welcome to the Speak English Fearlessly podcast. This is the podcast for motivated English learners who want to speak English fearlessly and learn practical tips and strategies to conquer the CELPIP exam. I also love the feature encouraging interviews with regular people, people just like you, who are working towards becoming fluent in English so we can learn from their experiences together. Who am I? My name is Aaron Nelson, and I've been an English teacher for over 16 years, and I now help students prepare for the CELPIP exam through online classes. If you're just joining in, Hi! Welcome! I'm so glad to see you.

Well, I guess I can't see you because this is a podcast, but I'm glad you are here and listening today. If today is your first day listening to this podcast, I just want to say hello and welcome. I am so glad that you are here today and that you chose to download this episode and listen. I hope that you'll sit back and relax and enjoy today's episode.

If you are a returning listener, hello, Thank you so much for joining in today and for coming back every week. You being here means the world to me. I am so glad that you keep coming back. You've been trying to use English, like how you hear in this podcast or from your English classes or like how you read about in course books, but it always seems to feel like you're still stuck.

in how you speak or in how you try to interact with people in English. Like it's like you freeze and you can't find the right words when you're trying to connect with someone who only speaks in English. If that's you, if you're, in spite of trying to do, Hmm, I'm going to do that again. Does this sound like you?

I've been trying to use English like how I hear about in this podcast or from my English classes or from what I read about in my course books, but I always seem to feel stuck when I try to speak like I can't find the right words when I'm with someone who only speaks English as time goes along, I end up feeling terrible about myself.

and my ability to use English. Like every time I screw up, I just have these longer and longer sessions where I feel like I'm just beating myself up and feeling like such a failure. Like I'm never going to achieve the results that I want to with English or on the CELPIP exam. And what's worse, whenever I do try to use what I'm being taught, how I am being taught, I feel like I somehow fail.

Stop being myself. I stopped being me when I'm trying to do what my teachers are telling me to do, or when I try to do what even this podcast that I'm listening to right now, when I try to do what this guy who's talking to me now, I feel like I'm not being myself. If that's you, my friend, I want to tell you a story.

In: 2018

Some haven't even retired yet, so they're still working while others have retired and are, but are living full and active lives. This area felt like I was putting on my favorite sweater or shoes. It totally felt comfortable.. I felt like I was, it was just like a natural fit for me as I began to get to know the residents I was there to serve.

But when I began training for the second part of my role in a complex care facility for seniors who were struggling with mental health and advanced dementia, that was when I suddenly found myself being placed in situations that I have never been in before. It was terrifying and extremely difficult at first.

I had no previous experience working with people who were dealing with advanced dementia before. I never had experienced them. I didn't know anything. How to get to know or talk with someone who could no longer talk, for example, or who would just sit there staring out the window or staring blankly ahead.

I didn't know how to speak with or visit with someone who could no longer put together two or three words and have them make sense. Like whenever they would talk, it was, it would just sound like gibberish, like babbling. And I had no idea what they were trying to tell me, but they desperately wanted someone to talk with.

I didn't know how to deal with people who seem to wander around randomly from one place to another. That's what I was thrown into in that complex care facility. All those experiences scared me because I didn't know what to do. I did have a very dear mentor who now has become a great colleague and friend of mine.

And she allowed me to spend a few weeks just following her around so I could learn how she did her work. And more importantly, or so I thought, I wanted to learn from her how to interact with these seniors like the way she did.. She did just like she did. I wanted to learn how to do it. I learned so much from that experience, but the most important lesson came one day after I had been shadowing my mentor around the entire day, I had to return to my office in order to have a conference call with one of my supervisors.

And I remember feeling. terribly and completely discouraged because I simply couldn't see myself doing the work I was supposed to be doing in the way my co worker and mentor was doing it. She was fabulous at her work, like she would just light up like a spark, like a fire whenever she was around her residents, and her residents The seniors that she worked with just loved her.

Her style was often with big groups and she was frequently very animated and bubbly. Like I said before, the seniors just love her. But I felt totally out of place. And though I tried to do what she was doing, I always felt like I was trying to wear someone else's clothes. It never seemed to fit me during my call with my supervisor

he asked me how things were going with my mentor, and I told them that I was learning a great deal. And I guess I couldn't hide my frustration because he quickly asked me what was wrong. So I told them everything that I just shared here with you. And I'll never forget his heartfelt words back to me. He said, Aaron, do you know what?

We didn't hire you to be and act like your mentor. We hired you to serve our seniors as you. We want you to serve how God made you to serve. Don't be a copy of your mentor. Be you.. Wow, that changed everything from me this past week, my role changed again in the organization where I work. I've been moved into a full time role between two independent living facilities.

If you recall, independent living means seniors who are able to go about a normal, mostly unassisted style of life. That meant I had to say goodbye to the seniors I had come to know and love over in the complex care unit where I had worked for the past six or so years. Much to my happy surprise, I felt So sad, as I was saying goodbye to them over the years, they have become important parts of my life, people who I loved to be around and interact with without a doubt, I know that that transformation I experienced from being terrified to being in the same space as someone who is dealing with advanced and.

dementia and not knowing what to do around them to loving them and enjoying being around them and missing them now that I'm no longer serving where they live. I know that that transformation came because God did some amazing work in my life so that I could work with these folks and love doing it.

That transformation also came because I took my supervisor's advice to me that day, and I stopped trying to serve how my mentor served, and instead began to embrace my own style in connecting with these dear people. If you were to look at my mentor style of work. Alongside of my style of work, you'd see two completely different approaches to care, like night and day different.

One is not right, and the other wrong. One is not better, and the other worse. Both approaches are effectively creating great relationships with people we are employed to serve. While my mentor's approach was very big group and bubbly, just like the personality of my mentor, my approach favored small group, one on one, very quiet interactions.

Because that's most like how I am in style. Remember, I'm pretty introverted. I'm quiet. I like quiet. So what does that have to do with you? I bet you're wondering. If you've made it all the way through my story, I bet you're kind of wondering, Okay, so what does that have to do with me? Well, I want you to know.

To start using English in ways that are in line and in tune with who you are. Because the more you do, the more success you will have with it. If you heard the episode from last week, then you heard me challenging you to create a list of questions, like five questions that you could ask someone in order to keep a conversation going.

with the spotlight being on them and not on you, with the pressure being on them to carry the conversation forward, and not on you. But perhaps as you heard that advice, you found yourself breaking out in a cold sweat, because even in your first language, you struggle with social interactions, and the very thought of engaging someone in conversation in English is, well, terrifying for you.

Hey. If that's you, I see you, and I feel your pain, my friend, so stick with me, okay? I've got an idea for you. Or maybe you've even been in an English class where your teacher tries to get you to participate in, say, a roleplay with a bunch of other students, and you totally bombed at it because you absolutely hate, and you absolutely hated that experience, and learning English in general.

as a result, because your teacher tried to get you to do something that was just totally foreign to you. What I hope you take away from today's episode is this. Please don't try to use an approach to English that doesn't fit you and who you are and how you are. You'll only find yourself getting nowhere other than greatly frustrated and very discouraged with yourself.

Instead, I want to encourage you to embrace a use of English that is in tune with who you are and how you like to interact with the people around you. Because You still need to interact with other speakers of English. If you want to see your English skills improve, you don't get to escape that reality.

Just like I still had to interact with the folks who are dealing with advanced dementia. I couldn't escape that reality because it was part of my job. I still had to connect with that group of people. The change was We are talking about here today is the how. How you engage with English should be, well, it should be you, but engage you must.

It means you join maybe a book club in English because maybe you're a bookworm. If that's you, then do it. If that means you have a small English conversation with someone over a game of cards. or while you're working on a puzzle, because you're a card game fan or an avid puzzler, then do it. If you eat, breathe, and sleep music, then see if you can join with a group of other musicians as they practice in English.

Of course, see what I'm getting at here? Use who you are and how you are to engage with English. Don't leave behind that powerful part of who you are at the door. You'll find that if you do this, if you embrace who you really are as you use English, you'll find yourself quickly becoming a fearless English speaker.